Ten Most Common Signs of a Spouse Cheating
While there are numerous signs of a spouse cheating to be found, unless you know exactly how to recognize and easily uncover those signs, while keeping yourself safe from being obvious or undergoing unnecessary emotional stress, it can be a daunting and harrowing ordeal.
If you have the slightest suspicion that signs of a spouse cheating are starting to show, there are various ways to confirm your suspicions without actually lighting the fire by direct interrogation.
To start with, the first reaction you will probably show if you suspect anything untoward will in all likelihood be anger. It’s a natural reaction and one not easily controlled. The entire animal world certainly not excluding mankind will usually show one of two reactions to being hurt, whether physically or emotionally.
The first reaction is usually to strike back at the hurting source in an instinctive self defense action triggered by the first signs of a spouse cheating and the second is to try to get away from the hurting source in order to avoid any more pain. The latter being sometimes impossible in a married or “living with” situation.
However, when signs of a spouse cheating start to become more and more painful, it’s time to try to alleviate those suspicions once and for all either way with a positive view to protect yourself and your self esteem. Loss of self esteem can become just as damaging to your emotional state as the actual loss of trust you might be feeling in your partner when the signs of a spouse cheating become more obvious.
It’s important to note here that if you have a clear field of focus when heading into what could well become a field of conflict, you will find that your defenses will give you strength in trying to combat your emotions while at the same time provide you with a reachable goal in satisfying your “need to know” impulses.
Ten of the most common signs of a spouse cheating.
Note: This list is not in order of importance or relevance and is only designed as a reference to some common signs of a spouse cheating.
1. He/she is getting an unusual amount of calls at odd times to their cell phone.
Unless your spouse is involved in a business they normally take home with them such as in real estate for example, the increase in the receipt of calls to their mobile phone can be an indication of infidelity particularly if they make a rapid hang up or the conversation changes tone as soon as you are present.
2. Apart from the old lipstick on the collar signs of a spouse cheating scenario, there are other ways in which your partner’s clothing can be indicative of infidelity.
For example, it’s very likely that if your partner has just been with some one else, they would have taken a shower before coming home and will smell fresh and clean but, their clothing will still have giveaway odors such as cigarette smoke, perfume, cologne, food smells and possible stains etc.
3. Obvious nervousness when first arriving home.
Regardless of how good an actor your spouse may be, it is rare indeed that one can not show an element of nervousness when something is amiss, and this not only applies to signs of a spouse cheating. However it’s often said that where there is smoke there is fire and if you notice some nervousness when they come home, it’s quite natural to ask if there is anything wrong. If your question is met with a snapping reply or you are fobbed off with a mumbled explanation on regular occasions it’s time for further investigation.
4. An abrupt change of regular habits.
This can be a toughie because your partner may have entirely other reasons to change habits but changing habits is still indicative of a change of some sort and is well worth while investigation further if those changes are radical and more than one.
For example: Your spouse may be a smoker and while it’s understandable that they would want to give it up for health reasons, a smoker will usually talk about quitting to their partner and friends long before they actually try. If she/he just comes home one day and says “I’ve quit smoking.” with no warning or lead up, one would have to suspect another’s influence. This sort of behavior is often coupled with another change if they are being unfaithful such as taking up bowling or fishing when they have never shown any interest whatsoever in the past.
5. Other common signs of a Spouse Cheating:
These can include your spouse’s change of general interests such as in dress style, personal appearance and fashion. With a new influence in their life they become open to new ideas and to different life styles. A sudden interest in looking younger in midlife or embarking on a sudden crash weight loss course is definitely a sign of change which should arouse your suspicions.
6. The all telling Paper Trail.
Regardless of how careful someone is in all aspects of life, there are always innocuous little mistakes made. These can include innocent screwed up little pieces of paper left in places like their pockets, their glove compartment in the car, on the dashboard, between the seats, on the floor of the car etc. In the house; in the bathroom garbage bin, trapped in the “S” bend of the toilet bowl, stuck away in the underwear drawer, between the pages of a book such as a daily diary or appointment book.
Quite often a man for example, will innocently write a note about something completely unrelated on a piece of paper he has tucked into his pocket without realizing that the piece of paper is a motel or hotel receipt, which he then leaves sitting on the dresser when he showers or before going to bed. Besides the one just mentioned, and obvious ones such as florist receipts or cards, there are all sorts of pieces of paper such as game or movie tickets. Bowling receipts or restaurant napkins. Parking station receipts from odd parts of town. Or even chocolate or candy wrappers which can be seen as signs of a spouse cheating.
7. Another one to consider, which seems at first to be a good sign of the opposite, is a sudden and unexplained show of affection towards you.
An unfaithful partner is a guilty partner. Guilt will often disclose itself in strange ways. If your spouse suddenly becomes more affectionate physically or starts to bring home little gifts and directs uncharacteristic kind tendencies towards you or the children, unless there is a justifiable reason it could be a time to be wary. Guilt is a difficult and heavy cross to bear and it’s not unusual to find a guilty person subconsciously trying to lighten the load by doing well to others. How many times have you lashed out at someone you know did not deserve it and apologizing later because you felt guilty?
8. Sometimes signs of a spouse cheating can manifest themselves in the form of self righteousness.
A person who is being unfaithful to his/her partner will often find self justification in their guilt by trying to convince themselves that they are right. They will purposefully pick fights with their partner in an effort to make the partner do something wrong so they themselves can see a distorted view of their own actions. “She/he did this or said that which justifies my looking for alternative company”.
9. Lack of and avoiding conversation.
If a person’s mind is on something or someone else, it’s hardly surprising that their concentration will waver when trying to converse on something other than the subject of that concentration. It’s especially true when the person who is trying to converse with them is seen in a distorted way as the reason for their predicament.
The guilty party will often see their spouse as being the main obstacle in the path of being with the person of their desire and will feel an underlying resentment to him or her and will not feel attracted to indulging in what they see as unmeaning and fruitless conversation. It’s up to you to determine whether this lack of conversation coupled with other tell tale signs are actually signs of a spouse cheating.
10. Shortage of ready money.
Most modern couples adhere to some form of budgeting. While checking a spouse’s credit card account is an obvious way to uncover unexplained signs of over spending, it’s not always possible to do so these days with the advent of internet banking. However a husband or wife usually has a fairly good idea of how much money their partners generally spend on themselves. If your partner suddenly starts to consume more money than usual and is actually suggesting an increase in her/his personal budget, it could be further signs of a spouse cheating. This is probably more common among men because despite the age old custom of chivalry being supposedly dead, men are more likely to try to impress by being extravagant than women.